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• It’s an exaggerated claim, followers counter

A Ghanaian lady has described Nigerian men as the “best in Africa.” She based her assertion on how Nigerian men supposedly treat the women in their lives.

The lady, Zipporah, said this in a tweet via her Twitter handle @Z_Tetteh.

The thread started on Monday, where she narrated her experience with Nigerian men. She also revealed that she is currently dating a Nigerian man, whom she calls “King.”

Her first tweet reads, “I don’t understand why Nigerian ladies complain of their men, it’s beyond me. Hands down, Nigerian men are the best in Africa. Their mother, sister, wife/girlfriend(s), daughter & even mother-in-law they treat with maximum respect. Nigerian ladies, respect your men.”

Dating In Usa From A Nigerian Man's Perspective Book

I don't understand why Nigerian ladies complain of their men, it's beyond me.

Hands down, Nigerian men are the best in Africa. Their mother, sister, wife/girlfriend(s), daughter & even mother in law they treat with maximum respect

Nigerian ladies, respect your men#Thread

— ? Zipporah?? (@Z_Tetteh) June 4, 2018

Since her tweet, however, there have been reactions to it, especially from Nigerians.

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See some of those reactions below:

Thread filled with facts but a lil bit exaggerated. We dey try oo but make no mistake we sef dey MAD!

— OLABODE WOOFLINE (@olademz) June 5, 2018

Wat u’ve written might nt be 100% accurate, I’m a Naija man & I can tel you dat there are bad men as well in Nigeria.ur analysis is accurate to an extent (let’s say btw 70% to”80%).I av seen men frm many countries (African and western men), & I can tell u dat I will “NEVER”….

— Deezedbj (@deezedbj) June 5, 2018

treat a woman the way they treat their women. That’s why many of those women feel like a queen wenever they meet any man dat treat them well (Nigerian or non-Nigerian). We av our own negative side but from my own perspective, we still treat our women fairly. #just my own opinion#

— Deezedbj (@deezedbj) June 5, 2018

Ha!!!…Nigerian men abi wat am I hearing???Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ..we are not arguing ..we will start respecting them but ha dont coman tell us otherwise o wen dey do it for u o

— ICanIWill (@Itzdearbie) June 4, 2018

She has not crossed the borders, pardon her. Nigerian girls take our efforts for granted. Thank you Zippo.??

— Otunba Ade (@AdeolaHaze) June 5, 2018

We deserve the accolades!!! pic.twitter.com/pEtibq2XwO

— Victor Asemota (@asemota) June 5, 2018

Should we tell her? ?? I think not. Lemme allow her enjoy her life biko. Carry on my dear

— franca alex (@francafizzy) June 5, 2018

Nice thread. But one ‘unfortunate’ fact is the Nigerian men are still addicted to Nigerian women. “No matter how good foreign ladies treat them, they always end up in the arms of another Nigerian woman…sooner or later.” This is what a Polish lady once told me. ???

Dating In Usa From A Nigerian Man's Perspective Book

— Mr Stanley Nwabia (@MrStanleyNwabia) June 5, 2018

Got the same stuff while I was in Ghana.

Ghanaian girls will actually treat you like a king and make you forget how to cheat.

— Royal Madnesty ? ?? (@itsgazi) June 5, 2018

I guess what has happened is that you’ve seen bad guys from Ghana and good guys from Naija.

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What I know for sure is there are loads of bad boys and good boys both in Ghana and Nigeria

I believe so much in individuality. I don’t like to generalize… Happy for you n your king?

— Ozioma Amaka Paul (@OzzyPaul) June 5, 2018

As if no be us dey live with them. Pray you only meet the nice one’s ehn, so you can keep living in fantasy.

— Tolulope Peperenpe (@omotunde_torlu) June 5, 2018

Oya Ghana girls where are you… I need to be hooked ?

— Babalola (@ife_Clement) June 5, 2018

SA ladies say the same, Ghanaian ladies say the same, and other African countries but here in Nigeria we must be scum… We are not perfect not at all but we are not appreciated here

— Mister_alphat (@Alphat567) June 5, 2018

Let’s wait for them Kenya ?? girls and Ethiopia ?? girl to release their own press conference about Nigerian men

— King Gatsby (@faraohzavatar) June 5, 2018

I m coming over to Ghana to b treated like a King n to treat the girl I will meet as my Queen.
Truth be said. Y Naija girls are not treated well cox at first they treat the guy as D claiming too hard to get, wen finally gotten the respect he want to give her Fades away. Logics

— Engr Li Cha Mai Ke ?? (@mykel_rechard) June 5, 2018

Dating A Nigerian Man In America

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In one video from The Kachis, a YouTube channel run by a Nigerian lesbian couple named Kelly and Bibi, the two women sit together and talk about how sad it is that they won’t be able visit home for the winter holidays because of their sexuality. Just months prior, The Kachis had posted a picture on social media that got republished by blogs and news websites, thus outing them to the public, including Kelly’s family. “This is like the first time I am not home with my family,” Kelly says between sobs. “My mum has a store and by this time, we would be shopping for Christmas.”

Kelly goes on to explain that she has not yet found the heart to visit them, for fear of how they might react. At one point, though, she turns to the audience to share a message of hope, specifically for queer people struggling with the same issue. “I know most of you out there don’t have anywhere to spend Christmas,” Kelly says with Bibi by her side, providing comfort. “I know you’re going through this, but this is the time to find strength to be on your own, because it is really tough to find family. And you can find family in your friends.”

This is one of the many videos I’ve watched obsessively on The Kachis’ YouTube channel over the past few months. Their content, sometimes vibrant and playful, at others solemn and reflective, is a look into two women’s daily experiences living and loving as a queer couple in Nigeria. They share anecdotes about their first date, surprise each other with birthday presents, talk deeply about their first time having sex, and even set up funny pranks. It’s strikingly refreshing to see Nigerians talk openly about what it means to be queer in a country where homophobia is rife, and the Kachis are among a rising number of creators carving out their own kind of representation.

Nigeria is one of the 34 African countries where homosexuality is criminalized and culturally shunned, meaning that these videos aren’t just entertainment — in many ways, their very existence is a radical act of activism. In 2014, Nigeria’s same-sex prohibition act was signed into law, legislation that bans cohabitation between same-sex partners, public displays of affection between people of the same sex, and criminalizes the registration of gay clubs or organizations. Violating these mandates could lead to jail terms of over 10 years.

Homophobic violence has proliferated in the years since the act was passed, including incidents of blackmail and physical assault, kidnapping, and even murder. When people like the Kachis create content, they’re not only reclaiming their power and pride. They’re also showing fellow LGBTQ+ Nigerians how to live in a country where being out can be quite literally dangerous and reminding them that they have an online support system.

Queer Nigerians Insist Their Lives Matter at #EndSARS Protests

Harry Itie, the founder of Rustin Times, one of Nigeria’s foremost LGBTQ+ media outlets, says that social media is one of the most important tools available to advance human rights in the country. “A lot of queer Nigerians who would not be able to say anything [in person] can use social media to talk about issues they care about with some level of insulation,” he tells them. Through platforms like YouTube and Twitter, users have sparked movements like last year’s #EndHomophobiaInNigeria hashtag campaign and the #EndSars protests.

With each new video they put up, The Kachis are reminded that the channel has grown beyond a space for documenting their relationship, instead becoming an important means to help queer Nigerians find community. They explain this to me over a Zoom call, with Bibi, 32, seated right beside Kelly, 27, who occasionally leans her head on her partner’s shoulder. “We know what it feels like to feel alone and not have any queer Nigerians to look up to growing up,” Bibi says, “and this is why it matters to us that we are touching even one life.”

The couple are part of a larger wave of YouTubers who have forged their own platforms for representation in the country. Victor Emmanuel, a 22-year-old gay man who makes videos as Vicwonder, uses his channel For Fags Sake to host candid conversations around queer sex, dating, and other issues affecting the Nigerian LGBTQ+ community.

Whether he is talking about the queerbaiting storyline in Bridgerton or vlogging about wearing a crop-top out in public, his enthusiasm shines in every video. He says he created his channel last year to have a space to be more vocal about injustice against people like him. “I wanted a platform that gave me more liberty to speak about these issues dear to me and to also share my personal journey,” he says. While Emmanuel also uses Twitter for advocacy, he explains that the platform’s word limit stifled him, while YouTube allowed him to post nearly 20-minute videos.

In a February video about queer appropriation, he breaks down the history of high heels, explaining how queer men have long used them to challenge cultural ideas about gender and why straight men who adopt genderfluid fashion must pay heed to that history. By citing his own experiences as a femme and gay Nigerian man, he offers a unique perspective on the issue; his laid-back and playful voice make watching him speak out feels like I’m having a conversation with a friend.

For Amara, the Lesbian, a queer videographer, photographer, and content creator, starting her YouTube channel just made sense; a natural storyteller, Amara says she enjoys sharing her life with viewers as much as she wanted to create a space for queer people like her online. Her channel hosts more serious, politically-minded videos, like those documenting the maltreatment queer Nigerians faced at the #EndSars protests, as well as fun ones, like a dispatch where she’s cooking fish sauce and white rice with her girlfriend.

She says she’s grateful for the people she reaches through her videos and is inspired by the growing popularity of creators like her. “When I started, I felt very isolated and always hoped that there would be more queer Nigerian content creators, but now that more creators are there, I feel less alone,” she explains. “I feel happier.”

Dating In Usa From A Nigerian Man's Perspective Movie

But after three years on the platform, Amara also notes there are systematic disadvantages that come with being a queer Nigerian creator. Despite having nearly 13,000 subscribers, she has never once been approached for a brand partnership, a crucial revenue source for web content creators. “I see non-queer Youtubers getting partnerships all the time, sometimes with even less followers than I have,” she explains. “In cases when I write to them, I never receive a response.”

For Victor, the most challenging part of creating on YouTube is the algorithm, which some allege is biased against Black creators in general. The homophobia pervasive in Nigerian culture means that few YouTube users are actively searching for content from LGBTQ+ creators in the country, which can prevent their videos from being served to new audiences. “Owning and running a channel as a Black queer content creator living in Nigeria takes grit, and patience, and creativity,” he says.

Physical safety is also a concern. Bibi of The Kachis recalls one instance where they feared for their lives because they were recognized in public from their YouTube content. “A group of people once approached us [in public saying] ‘No be dem be dis, are these not the women?’ We weren’t sure if they were fans or homophobes because their approach was menacing,” Bibi explains. It was this need to stay protected that urged her and Kelly to find a new place to live, someplace a bit out of town, where they could still go about their lives without being easily recognized.

Even still, The Kachis say they want to keep pushing more videos out into the world. They are motivated by their fans, who send them messages expressing their videos have made their day, while others reach out for advice and comfort. “We are happy to keep making our channel so that no one feels too alone anymore,” Bibi says.

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